Monday, October 24, 2005

The Million Dollar Ticket

I got one of these fake million dollar bills from one of my friends at school today. The front looks a normal fake bill, except in the bottom left had corner instead of "Treasurer of the United States" it says "Department of Eternal Affairs". Something's fishy...

So on the back side it's really different. There's a picture of the Supreme Court building and "IN GOD WE TRUST" is emphasized on the steps of the building. Not good. Here's the scariest part: there's writing around the edges, and (suprise, suprise) it's all about Jesus.

It reads:
"The million dollar question: Will you go to Heaven? Here's a quick test. Have you ever told a lie, stolen anything, or used God's name in vain? Jesus said,'Whoever looks upon a woman to lust after her has commited adultery already with her in his heart.' Have you looked with lust? Will you be guilty on Judgment Day? If you have done those things God sees you as a lying, thieving, blasphemous, adulterer at heart. The Bible warns that if you are guilty you will end up in Hell. That's not God's will. He sent His Son to suffer and die on the cross for you. Jesus took your punishment upon Himself- 'For God loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.' Then He rose from the dead and defeated death. Please, repent (turn from sin) today and trust in Jesus, and God will grant you everlasting life. Then read your Bible daily and obey it."
Uh huh.

First off, Everyone's lied, stolen and 'looked with lust'! One of my Die-Hard-Born-Again-Christian friends admits she's a habitual liar. That guy probably does it on a regular basis.

Second, "If you have done those things[comma?] God sees you as a lying, thieving, blasphemous, adulterer at heart." Geez, talk about bringing down someone's self esteem!

My favorite: "The Bible warns that if you are guilty you will end up in Hell. That's not God's will." Sure it's not. "Sorry little Timmy, I REALLY don't want to send you to eternal torture, but if you continue to lust over women and lie to your mommy, I'm going to HAVE to!"

"Then read your Bible daily and obey it." Ooh boy! Let's kill my entire heathen family!

Who's the author? Oh, of course. Kirk from I love this guy!

P.S. click on the way of the Master link, and on the front page you can see a small picture of bill in the bottom left corner. Aparently it's all part of the kit you can buy for only $99.99!


At 10/25/2005 11:01 AM, Blogger Delta said...

Oh man, I've seen this site before, really retarded stuff. Although for us I think it's a good thing. I think it makes christianity look even more ridiculous for those who follow it casually.

At 4/13/2006 3:54 AM, Anonymous brum said...

wait a minute, ur saying that one move by an individual is supposed to rule all of us out? pfft.


Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home

Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 2.5 License.