Saturday, September 24, 2005

How Religion Came to Be: an Atheist Myth

A long time ago, there was a young man with amazing intellectual capacities named Zilphagin. People always came to him for advice. Since modern drugs hadn't been invented, and no one actually lived long enough to be an old, wise man.

Now, Zilphagin knew that there was more to life than sitting on a rock in the town square and answering people's questions. He could become a lawyer, or a doctor. His city-state could certainly use one of those, as university graduates were hard to come by. Anyhow, one day, he created a plan. A plan to get all those irritating, undereducated citizens to leave him alone, leaving him to pursue a better life. His plan was so simple, yet so powerful... powerful enough that thousands of years later, his legacy lives on.

His plan was, the next time anyone inquired about why the moon changed, why the tides rolled in and out, what made the sun come out in the morning, etcetera, he would tell them, "Because there's a big man named God who lives in the sky and makes it all happen." Sure enough, they left. And no one ever asked him any more questions at all. He lived happily ever after as a doctor. Unfortunately, being one of two doctors in miles around, he was never left alone. He realized how stupid his whole "God" story was.


By the way, I'm Caleb. I know Seth from the Hebrew school we both used to suffer in. I hope to be a regular contributor on Kingdom of Heathen.

4 Comments:

At 9/24/2005 9:33 PM, Blogger seth said...

Nice first post, Caleb. Here's my idea of how religion has started, stolen from a comment I made during a debate on my blog:

Many many years ago, early man was wondering around the planet. Let's zoom in on an individual, and name him Zog. Zog and his friends just hunted down a healthy, nourishing mammoth and dragged a bounty of its meat into their warm, protective cave. Zog's friend Gob just went out to get water from a nearby freshwater stream, and berries from the nearby forest. All is good in Prehistoric-land.
Eventually, Zog starts thinking about how grand his world is. Everything is perfect; the food, the water, the shelter, it's all there for him! It fits his needs like a glove! Almost as if someone designed it for him...whaddaya know, it's so perfect, that someone must have designed it especially for him! And this someone must be pretty darn powerful, and able to hide itself, because Zog can't see it! Sound familiar>

 
At 9/24/2005 9:40 PM, Blogger Caleb said...

Nice story (I mean Seth's Zog story)

 
At 9/25/2005 8:20 AM, Blogger Aeger said...

I have heard that so many times it has lost all meaning to me.

 
At 9/28/2005 5:50 PM, Blogger El Penguino said...

funny story, though it is kinda debatable whether religion really started that way, though i guess thats why its an atheist myth

 

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